Facebook
by ivy.and.gold
Summary: All the great love stories start in cyber-space. M for my potty mouth.


_**The amazingly talented Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight and Facebook belongs to the God's that created it. Everything else is mine... apart from the song lyrics.**_

_Facebook._

**Isabella went from being "in a relationship" to "single".  
**_Mike Newton likes this._

Finally.

**Isabella Swan **_**I will never ask if you don't ever tell me. I know you well enough to know you never loved me.  
**__Eric Yorkie, Alice Cullen and 2 others like this._

She was too good for him anyway. Every time he touched her I knew it was wrong. _It should be me._ But it wasn't because she was Bella Swan; the girl every guy wants and every girl wants to be. He was Jacob Black; the guy every girl wanted and every guy wanted to be.  
If that wasn't a match made in heaven then I don't know what is.  
Then there was me, the awkward geeky brother of Alice Cullen, Bella Swan's best friend. If Jacob Black was 'hot' and 'buff' then I was 'cute' and 'sweet'.  
Cute and sweet didn't deserve Bella Swan. Hell, cute and sweet probably wasn't even on Bella Swan's radar, and if he was it was only because he'd accidently walked in on her in the shower on one of the many occasions she slept over at his house.  
Best fucking day of my life. God I'm such a peado.  
The only thing I had to be thankful for was the fact that Bella Swan did not yet know of my infatuation. Hopefully she never would.  
The sting of rejection hurt like a bitch and I didn't have much tolerance for pain.

**Alice Cullen **_**wishes Edward Cullen would turn down his music. Nobody wants to listen to your emo shit.  
**__Emmett Cullen likes this.  
__**Edward Cullen **__Fuck off.  
__**Alice Cullen **__Turn it down then.  
__**Edward Cullen **__No.__**  
Alice Cullen **__Yes.__**  
Emmett Cullen **__Eddie, turn your fucking music down. You don't want your secret getting out.  
__**Edward Cullen **__FS. I'll turn it down._

Emmett Cullen. My tank of a brother. The only person I had told about my love for Miss. Swan. He had laughed then told me that he was more likely to become a ballet dancer than I was to be Bella Swan's boyfriend. I told him he was probably right.  
I had a sneaking suspicion Alice might know as well. Alice knew everything. Not in a gossipy way just in a creepy _I know what you did last summer _way. She was pretty much a freak but everybody loved her, including me. Even though she hated my 'emo shit' almost as much as I hated that fact she had taken to playing _Wannabe_ on repeat. 

When Bella Swan walked into biology on Monday morning and sat down beside me I was more than a little shocked. I gave her a 'WTF?' look while trying to act sufficiently friendly – and sufficiently un-creepy. She gave me a 'duh' look which I returned with the furrowing of my brows. I didn't get it.  
"I sat beside Jacob. I don't want to sit beside _him _now so I'm sitting here. Comprende?"  
I nodded in response. The kind of nod that probably made her think I wasn't all there.  
She sighed, then smiled then said "Sorry, bad day." Before smiling at me again when I replied.  
"Don't worry. Be happy."  
I'm trying to woo her Bob Marley. Stellar. What a flirt master I am. I wonder if there's a book called _'Flirting For Dummies'. _I could really use a book like that.  
We didn't talk for the rest of the period. Either because my epic flirting skills had impressed her into a state of silence or because I'm an idiot who shouldn't be allowed within 10 miles of anything with a vagina.  
I vote for option number one.

**Edward Cullen **_**doing all I can do just to be close to you. Every time that we meet I skip a heartbeat.  
**__Rosalie Hale, Isabella Swan and 4 others like this._

See Alice, I don't just listen to emo music. I just reserve the happy music for when I realise I'm a black belt in flirting. Damn, I'm a funny guy.

**Isabella Swan **_**don't worry. be happy **_  
_Rosalie Hale, Edward Cullen and 7 others like this._

HELL TO THE YES. Tiny bit immature and ever so slightly sad but damn. Bella Swan was contacting me through the medium of Facebook.  
Yeah, I agree with you. I think you would struggle to find a bigger loser than me in the whole of Washington state.

**Edward Cullen **_**gives very good advice ;)  
**_**Isabella Swan **_I agree. :p  
_**Emmett Cullen **_PML. Edwardo, you're a funny guy. :L  
_**Isabella Swan **_Emmy, you're just jealous of Edward's epic advice giving skills. ;)  
_**Emmett Cullen **_HAHAHA.  
_**Edward Cullen **_:'(  
_**Isabella Swan **_I still think you give amazing advice Edward :)  
_**Edward Cullen **_:D_

The shit eating grin on my face probably made me look more like The Joker than a guy who was possibly millimetres closer to getting his dream girl but it still made me feel like an idiot.  
Bella Swan talked to me on Facebook.  
Bella Swan talked to me on Facebook.  
Bella Swan talked to me on Facebook.  
Did she talk to you. No? Why not! Because she was talking to me, Edward Anthony Cullen... and she would probably stop talking to me if she realised that I was having this discussion about her. With myself. 

Next day in bio I decided to put the hours I spent mastering the art of flirting last night to good use.  
"Hey Bella" I said – in my 'I'm so hot, do you want to fuck me voice?' she blinked, momentarily stunned. I didn't know I was that good.  
"Eh, hey Edward. Are you okay? Your throat sounds a bit sore" Okay, well maybe I need a tiny but more practice.  
I 'cleared my throat' before replying  
"Yeah. Emm... yeah. I'm fine. Thanks" Smooooth, Cullen. Real smooth.  
Bella smiled this really pretty smile that made my stomach flip a few times. I know that sounds really feminine but, God, this girl brought out the pansy in me.  
"So..." I began, running my hands through my already messy hair. Alice always says I have sex hair, I decided that can't be a bad thing. Emmett always calls me ginger, even though my hair was very clearly bronze. When I explained that to him he started calling me carrot top and it made me want to punch him, though punching Emmett would hurt me that it hurt him.  
Before I could continue my sentence and subsequent quest to charm the pants off Bella, Jacob Black appeared in all his tanned, six-pack, football playing glory.  
"Hi, Jacob Black. You may not know me, but very soon I'm going to be in a happy, loving, sex filled relationship with your ex-girlfriend. Yes, laugh it up. You may have a six pack and be a 'fittie' in the eyes of many people but alas, you are lacking severely in two categories. You do not have bronze sex hair nor can you get the highest possible score for 'Stacey's Mom' on 'Singstar'. Yes, I know you're impressed but I think its best you scuttle of now." ...is what I would of said had Bella not interrupted me.  
"What do you want, Jacob?" She said with an angry glare. HA you go girlfriend. Jacob did this cocky little smirk as he reached out his hand to cup Bella's cheek.  
Oh hell no mister, you get your dirty paws of my future-possible-soon to be girlfriend!  
Bella twitched a little. But not like an ugly twitch, a cute little 'I don't want you touching me so I'm going to twitch away from you' twitch.  
"Don't pretend you don't still love me babe. I can see it in your eyes." He said with that little cocky smirk on his little ugly face that probably matched his ugly little hosepipe.  
I shocked myself by speaking before Bella got a chance to open her pretty little mouth.  
"Actually, Jacob Black, if you looked in her eyes a wee bit closer I'm sure you would see the fact that you are nothing more than an ugly dog who didn't appreciate what an amazing girl he had and only wants her back because he's realised that nobody else is going to want to date such a good-for-nothing arse. Even if you do have abs of steel." I finished with a deep breath and realising that I was actually pretty darn solid. You don't get much more macho that Edward Cullen.  
I looked up to see Jacob Black staring at me with a kind of slack jaw and a look of mild disbelief in his eyes. Mhmmmm brother, that'll teach you not to mess with Edward Cullen *insert ghetto finger click and hip swing*.  
I turned to Bella, knowing that my recent display of manliness has probably left her gagging for me. Hopefully. Instead, she sat laughing hysterically, tears running down her cheeks and perfect hands clutching the material of her top. Say what?  
I took my eyes off Bella just long enough to see Jacob Black puff out his chest and walk away to his seat, obviously to mend his bruised ego.  
"Oh my God Edward, that was hilarious!" Bella said between fits of giggles. I took time to appreciate how beautiful she looked when she laughed. Snow-white skin flushed with happiness. Perfect eyelids covering her chocolate-y eyes. Dark lashes brushing her pink cheeks. Shoulder length mahogany curls bouncing around her face as she swayed. God, she's like something out of a Disney film. I mean like one of the princess' not one of the dwarfs or that creepy fish lady in the film with the girl in the purple bra and tomato soup hair.  
"Emm. Well it wasn't really supposed to be funny." I mutter, drawing random patterns in the lab table. Bella's laughter cut off abruptly.  
"Oh right. Well thanks Edwardo." She said before turning her attention to the front of the class. I was kind of hoping we could just rewind to the part where she told me how hot she thought I was and how bad she wanted to shag me till the cows came home but I was starting to get the feeling that she was kind of oblivious to my advances. Either way, I knew Bella Swan was worth waiting for.

**Isabella Swan **_**you are the nightlight ripping through my wicked world. how you make it sparkle and glow. (8)**_ _**  
**__Angela Webber and Jasper Hale like this.  
_**Edward Cullen **_Amazing song. :)  
_**Isabella Swan **_It's fitting.  
_**Edward Cullen **_To what ? :o  
_**Isabella Swan **_Life._

The next few weeks passed in a Bella induced haze. We talked in biology, we talked on Facebook and the rest of my time was spent thinking about the next time I would get to talk to Bella. It was sad and weird but I didn't really care because I was pretty useless if I didn't have Bella as a motivation. Which just makes me sound more sad but I was young and in love and I was pretty happy with my position.

**Edward Cullen **_**everything you do makes it easy to fall in love with you :)  
**__Rosalie Hale likes this.  
_**Bella Swan **_Cheers. ;)  
_**Edward Cullen**___No problemo. :L _

Prom was coming up and I was quite literally crapping it. The dilemma at hand was quite simple; I could ask Bella and face the possibility that I could become more rejected than Hannah Montana at an AC/DC concert. Or I could ignore the fact that I am totally, madly, head over heels in love with the girl and let some weasel share one of the biggest rites of passage with her. Decisions, decisions.  
"Hey Bella"  
"Hey Edward"  
"Fancy going to prom with me?"  
"Naw ta mate"  
"Oh, okay. Bye Bella"  
"Bye Edward"  
Screw that. I was going to do this the man's way and ask her on Facebook where the whole of Forks High School would be waiting to comment on my wall post where I to be brutally rejected to welcomed into the embrace of Miss Isabella Swan. Mr T, I got me some nuts.

**Edward Cullen Isabella Swan: **_**Do you lie awake thinking of me?  
**_**Isabella Swan **_Yes.  
_**Edward Cullen **_Do you want to go to prom with me?  
_**Isabella Swan**_ Yes please. And Air Traffic, Eddie? I'm impressed.  
_**Edward Cullen **_Only the best, for the best.  
_**Emmett Cullen **_Jeez Eddie-boy. When did you become such a smooth shit?  
_**Edward Cullen **_HAHA._

Bella walked into bio with this cute little smirk on her face. I couldn't help but give her a big toothy grin back. She rolled her eyes and laughed slightly. I smiled bigger and rubbed the back of my head, trying to distract my hands so I could resist the urge to run my hands through her hair.  
"We don't need to match for prom do we?" I asked, suddenly feeling way over my head. Would she want a corsage. A limousine or a mustang? Fruit punch or Jack Daniels? Quick make out or hotel room romp?  
"Well, I'm in midnight blue so..." Midnight blue. What the fuck? At least I have Alice. She'll know what that is.  
"Cool." I said. Cause it was cool. I was cool. She was cool. Life was pretty fucking cool.

Prom day came. Alice had arranged everything for me. She was Bella's best friend which meant that she would know what Bella liked more than I did. Though, stalking her on Facebook for almost a year had given me a pretty good idea of the entity that is Bella Swan. Just sayin', that place is creepers paradise.  
After getting ready, I did one last Facebook check.

**Bella Swan **_**is getting ready for prom with her girls. Can't wait to see a certain carrot top. ;) **_  
_Emmett Cullen and Jessica Stanley like this._

Emmett is a little shit. As soon as tonight was over I was going to majorly kick his ass... on Call of Duty cause there is no way I could take Emmett.

**Edward Cullen **_**is not ginger. :|  
**_**Emmett Cullen **_That's what they all say.  
_**Rosalie Hale **_...and I'm not blond.  
_**Bella Swan **_Dream on Eddie. :L_

She was fucking breathtaking. Like Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie and Snow White all rolled into one. Sexy and beautiful and innocent. Thank fuck I was wearing tight trousers.  
My mum took pictures while I took pleasure in getting to wrap my arm around Bella's waist.  
I gave her a corsage, Bella was all for tradition. We got in a mustang, Bella likes classics. We drank Jack Daniels, Bella said punch was for pussies. We had a quick make out session that turned into a hotel romp, Bella was saving herself for someone she loves.  
It was the best night of my life.

**Bella Swan is in a relationship with Edward Cullen.  
**_Angela Webber, Alice Cullen and 9 others like this.  
_**Emmett Cullen **_I'm not doing ballet.  
_**Edward Cullen **_Aye son. I think you'll find you are.  
_**Emmett Cullen **_Fuck you, Edweirdo, fuck you._

My smile was becoming a permanent accessory. Not that you can really blame me. If you were the boyfriend of Bella Swan you would be pretty fucking happy too. Not to mention, my friends downstairs was finally getting some action and he was enjoying it. Lots and lots and lots.

**Edward Cullen Isabella Swan: **_You shine so bright it's insane. You put the sun to shame. _

**Isabella Swan Edward Cullen: **_It's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you. _

Damn. I did good.

**And there we have it.  
**

**Just in case you're not fluent in Scottish slang or internet speak. ;) :p  
**_  
-Tank as in "My tank of a brother." Big/strong. Like an army tank.  
-WTF internet speak for What the Fuck.  
-PML internet speak for piss (pee) myself laughing.  
-Stellar. Okay/cool. As in "You're stellar" would mean "Your cool."  
-Hosepipe. Also referred to as penis, dick, willy etc.  
-Wee. Basically another word for small or little.  
-Shag. The same as bang, have sex with etc.  
-"Till the cows come home". Expression for a long period of time.  
-Cheers. Same as thank you.  
-"Naw ta mate" Scottish for "No thank you" and the mate is just there to make it sound cooler. ;)  
-"Mr T, I got me some nuts." Will make no sense if you have not seen the Mr t 'Snickers' adverts. Go watch and you'll understand.  
-Call of Duty. An x-box game. Just ask a male friend.  
-"Aye Son". 'aye' meaning 'yes' and 'son' as a term of friendliness.  
_

**And here is the song list. In order of appearance. I suggest you listen to them all. They're pretty amazing. :)**

_Cute Without The E – Taking Back Sunday  
Heartbeat – Scouting For Girls  
This Is For Real – Motion City Soundtrack  
Easy To Fall In Love – Brighten  
Like That – Air Traffic  
Lullaby – The Spill Canvas  
You And Me – Lifehouse_

**Right, you guys know the drill. Drop me a review pretty please.  
**

_**Amy :) x x x**_


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